Welcome to Post-Apocalyptic Media’s Car-maggeddon Tournament, where we’ve pitted popular vehicles from various wastelands against one another in a battle to the death!
There are 20 vehicles of different shapes and sizes. Who will win and be crowned the Wasteland Winner?
Note: These vehicles are from movies only and one vehicle per movie. (And no space ships or aircraft)
How will Car-maggeddon work? Each Saturday, we will pitch two vehicles against one another based on six criteria (listed below)!
Reliability/Functionality
Does the car have a tendency to break down? To lose parts? Can you sleep in it?
Offense
Does the vehicle have any weapons or other ways to take out the competition?
Defense
What armor (if any) does it have? How hard would it be for a zombie to get inside it or for someone to take out the driver from outside?
Speed
Can it outrun any threats, or does it just trundle along?
Power
Can it ram its way out of anything holding it back?
Aesthetics
This is basically a tie-breaker. In the battle, which vehicle has a higher “coolness factor” or matches best the wasteland look?
Check out the roaster below to see upcoming battles!
Round 3 (Semi-Final), Battle 2:
The War Rig from Fury Road vs. the Tank from Tank Girl!
Our penultimate battle is between two iconic vehicles from two iconic movies! The War Rig outlived even Mad Max’s Pursuit Special in Fury Road and was an integral part of the film. And Tank Girl’s Rebecca would be nothing without her titular vehicle.
Both vehicles have already proven they are formidable opponents. The War Rig squashed The Green Goblin from Maximum Overdrive and conscripted the Bentley from Doomsday to their side, and the Tank schooled the bus from Dawn of the Dead and reduced the Scoop from Soylent Green to detritus.
After all they’ve been through, let’s see who will one step closer to Queen of the Wasteland!
The Vehicles:
Of the two, the War Rig is definitely the vehicle you want to serve as both your home and transportation. While the Tank is indeed safer, the War Rig is much more comfortable. Not only are transport trucks designed to be accommodating for their drivers, but as we saw in the film, multiple people (and lots of stuff!) can travel in both the cab, the back, and the added turrets. The tank can really only fit one person comfortably, two at max, and despite the lovely chairs on the top, choosing to live in it over the War Rig would be like selecting a run-down motel vs. a presidential suite.
Now it’s time to answer a question that I’m not sure anyone has ever asked: which is faster, a tank or a transport truck?
The War Rig was built custom for the film, so we know it was equipped with a v8, 500hp Tatra factory racing engine. Even without the Holly superchargers (which were just for show in the film), the M5A1 Stuart Tank can only go 36mph on roads. As such, the War Rig can easily outpace the tank.
Likewise, while the tank obviously has better treads and off-road capabilities, the War Rig is just as capable of ramming attackers or barricades out of the way, due to how much momentum it could build up and the plow/cow catcher on the front. Were they to play chicken, the tank itself would likely survive the impact better, but, the drivers would be a different story. Due to the height difference, the drivers of the truck might fare better if the tank sheared off the bottom, leaving them unscathed, but the people in the tank would suffer serious injury from the collision (whiplash, concussions, blunt force trauma) from being thrown around in the tank, as there are no seatbelts.
Still, despite the War Rig being faster, less dangerous in a collision, and a better home, the tank absolutely destroys it in terms of offense and defense. The War Rig has no real armor against the type of firepower the M5A1 Stuart Tank packs. And the tank is, well, a tank – it’s rolling protection able to withstand far more than the War Rig can put out.
The War Rig might have an arsenal of weapons in the cabin (over ten guns and some knives), rear and front turrets equipped with harpoon guns, and the fuel pod armed with a flamethrower, but none of those can do anything against a tank. One blast from the Stuart’s 105mm gun, let alone the rocket launchers, turret-mounted machine gun, and various other projectile weapons, would turn the War Rig into a War Wreck.
The hardest aspect of this to assess is the aesthetics. Personally, despite how much more powerful the tank is, I think I’d rather rule the wasteland in the War Rig, but I can understand those who also think the Tank is pretty badass. In this regard, the ladies have put aside their differences.
In the end, while the War Rig scores higher in more areas than the Tank unless the drivers obtained some antitank artillery (such as mines, missiles, or specialized rifles), the Tank would win any battle they fought.
The War Rig is joining the Pursuit Special in Valhalla. You shall ride eternal.
WINNER, Semi-Final Round 2: The Tank from Tank Girl!
Next week is our last battle! The Tank vs. Frankenstein’s Monster vs the Landmaster! Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook group, or on Twitter who you think will win! Throw in the hashtag #car-maggeddon
Battle 1: Mad Max’s Pursuit Special vs. the Mustang from Cherry 2000
Battle 2: The Bus from Dawn of the Dead vs. the Tank from Tank Girl
Battle 3: Snowpeircer vs. Judge Dredd’s Law Master
Battle 4: The Mercury Marquis from Stake Land vs. Tallahassee’s Escalade from Zombieland
Battle 5: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Panel Wagon from Hell Comes to Frogtown
Battle 6: The Cannibals’ Truck from The Road vs. the “Scoop” from Soylent Green
Battle 7: The Duke’s Cadillac from Escape from New York vs. the Bentley from Doomsday
Battle 8: The Medusa from Bellflower vs. Frankenstein’s Monster from Death Race
Battle 9: Bill the Mule from The Postman vs. the Boat from Waterworld
Battle 10: The War Rig from Fury Road vs. the Green Goblin from Maximum Overdrive
Round 2, Battle 1: Mad Max’s Ford Falcon Pursuit Special vs. Tallahasse’s Escalade from Zombieland
Round 2, Battle 2: The Bentley from Doomsday vs. The War Rig from Fury Road
Round 2, Battle 3: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Boat from Waterworld
Round 2, Battle 4: The Scoop from Soylent Green vs. the Tank from Tank Girl
Round 2, Battle 5: The Law Master from Judge Dredd vs. Frankenstein’s Monster from Death Race!
